Wednesday, July 27, 2011

LEARNING TO LOVE SELF????????




Yesterday, I started talking about the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23, I would like to tell you that it helped a lot, so today we will continue on to Love. God loved us before we loved ourselves. He loved us and desired to create us for His creation of the Universe. He put man and women in the garden and told them to enjoy because he loved us and wanted us to be happy and love one another and love Him. It’s a great beginning, but something happened and we all know what happened the serpent entered and Eve chose to eat the apple because she wanted to be equal to God. But God stilled loved them and slaved the first animal with the shedding of the blood to give man and woman a covering for there bodies because they were ashamed to be seen by God necked. He had to kill one of his creations to provide for a covering for His other creation. That was love. What I’m trying to say here that God loves us no matter what we do or say. He wants the best for us.




Okay let’s take it a bit farther, God loves us, He tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. I have always had a problem of loving myself. I use to put friends and everything before myself. Children always came before me which is normal for a mother. But the sad part I was trying to win there love, I longed to be loved and I wanted to love myself. I didn’t like myself, moreover love myself. Love is a part of life and there are a lot of different kinds of love, love for mother and father, love for husband, love for children and love for God. When I was selling Mary Kay many years ago her motto was God first, family second, business third. I thought that was remarkable. Of course, I know now that is the way it should be. God should be our first love and a desire to please Him. Sometimes I do not always feel like I show that, but in my heart I love God with all my heart.





So let’s see where we stand with love. God loves us, we love God, if God loves us we should love ourselves, but so many times when we come from a abusive childhood, were we have been abandoned at times and sexually abused, its hard to love self, also we feel like its our fault because no one excepts blame so we do. As we accept this blame it causes us to look down on ourselves. I’m sharing this with you because you might be here and not loving yourself and not knowing why.

I still have problems with loving myself, I know God loves me, but I don’t always love myself. I feel like everyone is better than me and I don’t deserve to be loved. That is wrong. I think I feel being fat protects me from people loving me because people do not like fat people. I’m fat, so it’s a protecting devise that I use to keep people afar so they can’t love me. You see I think in my mind I’m unlovable and the circle continues of trying to learn to love myself, lose weight, be happy with who I am.






I know I have probably written some stuff that might upset people, but you have to remember these are my thoughts, my feeling of dealing with me and my journey of trying get to healthy. We have to dig down to the source of what makes me eat? Hope you have a great day. Oh yes, forgot to tell you I go back to water walking tomorrow, hurray, hurray, I get to move and lose.



Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

SELF CONTROL VERSUS NO CONTROL AT ALL????






Well today is Tuesday and I lost weight, thank God for that. I want to share with you a bible verse. Galatians 5:22-23. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Well, I’m having problems with self-control with my diet. And of course, its not the first time I haven’t had self control, I have been up and down the weight scale for so many years, its hard to believe. If I had stayed down all the times I had lost weight I would probably weigh about 120 lbs, wouldn’t that be nice. Just dreaming here. But let’s talk about self-control. Most people learn self control by there parents, don’t do this; do this its better this way. You know those words but it does teach us that we need to do certain things and not. How we do later on in life determine some times how we respond to these things we have been taught as a child. When we have a dysfunctional family, we have to do things we don’t want to do and our minds and bodies get messed up with this type of thing, because deep down inside we know it’s not right but we still have to perform and do things that is against our being.

Well as we get older and get out of this environment, we have a tendency to rebel against things we have to do or should do, even when it’s best for our bodies and our beings. But because of this rebellion attitude that was developed as we were being abused, it seems like it never leaves. I have asked God to give me self-control and will keep asking and He has in so many other areas of my life. The problem is deep down in your being you want that self-control but your body or mind just will not always let you use that self-control, plus your body cries out for all the things that you miss eating, sugar, fat, potatoes, and you want to eat as much as you want, so you get that satisfied feeling of defines of yourself and not self-control. Basically you are trying to hurt yourself. Well, this is interesting. Let think about this why we want to hurt ourselves, maybe because we don’t like ourselves, or we never feel like we think we should about life itself. I’ve opened some questions here that maybe we need to ponder about.

Well I’ve pondered and I really have decided I want to get healthy, I’m not that way now, I can hardly walk, I can’t enjoy my life now, do I dislike myself, at this stage I do, because I’ve let myself get like this. Did I really want to hurt myself, maybe, I just didn’t care whether I got up and moved or what I did. To me I felt like life was over, kids gone, grandchildren living away, only saw them twice a year. I just lost interest in everything. So sometimes we have to keep re-examining our motives of what we want and what we want to do with our lives for the time we have left. As young mothers we put all of ourselves in raising our children, providing the good things for them and when they grow up, we seem lost with out them. Sometimes we have other interest, I didn’t, I did my crafts and when my body started falling apart, I just didn’t care any more. So I’ve started caring again and I want to move and lose this weight. It will take a while but I’m hoping with my writings and help from my blogger friends and family, I will make it this time. I’m trying the calorie way and not the fad way, just taking one day at a time. Sorry so, long. Just a lot of feelings needing to come out. Have a great day.


Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Monday, July 25, 2011

WEIGH-IN-MONDAY?????????????


Well I lost 3 lbs this week, it’s another good start. I just wanted to tell you what happened yesterday. First of all I got up and ate my cereal, milk and fruit, good start right. Then about 1 o’clock and I was having a bad time thinking about everything I use to eat that was not good for me and craving it something fierce, and I gave in. I ate 2 slices of baloney on 2 pieces of bread, first bread I have had. I thought well I’ve done it. I fought hard not to go back in that kitchen and pull out another 2 slices of bread and baloney so I could stuff my face, but I didn’t. I pulled out some rice and chicken and ate about 1 cut of that and then I thought well you’ve done it now. Then I decided to go lie down and read and try to get my mind off of the kitchen and what was lurking in there that I could eat. That helped. But I had to get back up right, couldn’t hide from the kitchen all evening. So I got my nerve up and got up and my husband asks “what do you want for supper”. I just looked at him and said oh I don’t know. He says, I’m going to fix me some hot dogs, and I said oh okay. So I ate 2 hot dogs and ½ cup pork & beans. Oh I new I had blown it now.



My daughter messaged me and asked how I was doing, how could I answer her and tell her what I had eaten today, I knew I was over my calorie count. So I decided to call her because I needed some encouragement to go on. And she said mom, I think your okay. I said really, you do think I’ve not gone over my calories for the day. She said I don’t think so, that made me excited so as soon as I got off the phone, I went to my computer on calorie count and typed everything I had eaten and you will never believe I had not gone over the 1600 calories for the day. I was so delighted that I had not gone over, so the root of this story is that I was so afraid I had messed up and I did by the all the fat content I ate and it sure was not healthy food, but I still had that desire not to go over my calorie count which I think is good.


The reason I was lurking in the kitchen was because I was bored, upset, and a little angry. Remember the Halt thing I shared with you, but I didn’t halt. Now I think about this I see what was going on inside my head and my feeling. Maybe it will help next time when this comes about.



Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Sunday, July 24, 2011

IT'S BEEN A HARD FRIDAY AND SATURDAY





I have fought the temptation to eat for two solid days, so I decided I would write instead of fighting. I feel depressed. I feel like I could eat everything in sight. Sometimes I feel like I could eat the refrigerator, so go figure. I ate too much yesterday but I didn’t go over the calories except for about 100, which I guess is good when I consider how I felt. You know they say there will be days like this, but give me a break 2 in a row.


I read an article from Calorie Count about, “How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle” and guess what it didn’t really help. But it did make me ask some questions about myself. Why do I eat? Great question, I eat for emotional reasons, to feel good, makes me happy, it comforts me. Right now, I have some great concerns about some my friends and I don’t know if that is contributing to it. My son-in-law just lost his job, and one of our best friends just found out he has cancer, the skin kind and his wife already suffers from diabetes and she has to has have kidney dialysis.

I know people have problems all over the place, and I’ve always heard if you look around, you will find someone a lot worse and I do that often. But when it hits home, it makes you think. I’m so thankful I have faith in Christ, but it still makes you want to stuff your face when the fear comes and you see people you love hurting. Christ will see me through this and my friends too.



I needed to write and talk about my fight with wanting to eat everything in the house. I still haven’t had sweets. I would probably smear it all over my face if I got near any sweet stuff or better yet just wallow in it would be better. lol.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Friday, July 22, 2011

LET'S KEEP MOVING AND LOSING??????




Well, I made it through surgery okay, got a new lens for my eye. If you don’t know what that is its cataract surgery. As far as the diet I did okay yesterday, but could not water walk. Today I’m going to get on that stationery bike and try riding it for a while. I didn’t eat much yesterday, but I did have some fried catfish, which I probably should not have but that is one of my favorite things, but I measured out 4 ounces and just ate that with a salad. I still stayed under my 1600 calories.




One of the things I think in counting calories is that you can figure out what you’re going to eat ahead of time and fix it. I use calorie count and I also have a appl on my phone so I can look up the calories for any food or restaurant if I’m out and can’t get to my computer. You know earlier I would just use something as an excuse to not count those calories, its to much trouble to look up, it takes so much time, lol, I had all that time to sit in that rocking chair to stuff my face but not enough time to simply look up what calories were in my food that I was eating. You see we look for the least excuse to stop really trying to lose weight. It’s just self that doesn’t want to make the move; it likes being stuffed and just looking out for “I” or “me”. Sometimes we do have pain inside that keeps us from losing weight, we’re scarred that maybe we might fail, and we’re scared that when we lose weight we might be tempted by doing stupid things. Its easy to stay right were we are because we’re safe with our fat and no one can hurt us except we ourselves by not doing anything about it. So, think about were you are and make a decision to try to get up and out of that old rocking chair and move and lose with me.






Remember, you are the only one that can make that decision and you deserve it. Only you can make it for yourself, because you are important to your love ones and you never know what God has in store for you. So come on get up and lets move and lose. Have a great day.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Thursday, July 21, 2011

REWARD OR NOT TO REWARD???????




I’ve been thinking about rewarding myself when I reach a goal. I have not come up with anything yet. I hate the thought of rewarding myself with food, because that’s the problem to begin with. If I reward myself with food, it will confuse my brain and I’m afraid I will be telling myself its okay to eat. I know some people say go out and buy well you know that could contribute to spending money I don’t have. You see we have gotten into such a thing about rewards of doing the right thing, why not just do the right thing and realize in your head you are doing the right thing by not stuffing your face and moving your body. That is something we probably should do without rewards, but just to stay healthy. When I was growing up kids or people didn’t get rewards, you just were supposed to do the right thing. Now this is what I’m trying to convince myself, is that I need to take care of my body even at this late stage of my life. God only gave me this one body and this one life time to do the right thing. You see my dilemma, maybe its your too. I just would like a little praise and a word you’re doing a great job, which I’m getting from the followers of this blog, my husband and my family. I think that should be enough.



You see I knew I could talk about this with my friends here on the blog and you would understand then I would come up with a solution to my problem. Thanks for letting me vent my frustration of rewarding for doing what I should be doing in the first place. I will be having surgery on my eye today. Please say a prayer for me. Will talk at you soon.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

WANTED TO EAT EVERYTHING I COULD ???????????????



Well yesterday was a tough one, I wanted to eat everything in site. Dreamed of all kinds of foods like chocolate, dumplings, fried chicken, anything sweet, I think I could of just rolled in all of that stuff, But I stayed, only diverted when I fixed some chicken and rice for my doggie, she hasn’t been feeling good, so when she acts kind of weird and not eat, I fix her chicken and rice, my vet recommended it. I just couldn’t stand it, so I took about ½ cup but I posted it on my dietary intake and I still stayed under my calorie count. So I’m still working towards my goals, but having a craving day for things I use to eat. Remember I told you it took 21 days for things to become a new habit, so I got a few more days to go.


I went to water walking yesterday and just had a ball, walking and moving this old body. It still hurts, some I couldn’t do so I just moved my arms and walked. You would be surprised how much resistance there is in the water when you are walking and you don’t have that pounding on your knees and feet. So, I was happy for the push to go and move.

I will not be able to do the water walking for about 2 weeks after Thursday, I’m having eye surgery and I will have to wait for 2 weeks to get back in the water. I thought this is crazy killing my self, trying to push to move, but you know it has been so good for me, because you see I didn’t think I could do it. But I have proven to myself, I can do it. I’m telling you there are ladies doing water walking that are a lot worse off than I am and older than I am. So it has been a big eye opener for me.


I hope my ramblings has helped you, it sure has me. Just writing this stuff and telling how I feel has helped so much. So thanks for reading and listening to an old broad pour her heart out about my journey of getting healthy and losing weight.



Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

MY EXERCISE IS WATER WALKING


If you have been idle for a while you might want to try doing water walking, it’s easy on the bones and its a little bit slower pace then just getting out there and pounding the pavement.  I love the water, and you don't get into water above 4 ft so you don't get your hair wet unless you want to.  Its low impact but they do have other classes for people who really want to do high impact, which is my goal to move on as soon as I can.  You have to decide what you like to do, but my daughter says we need to move a little to start the heart pounding, and the metabolism working again.  So I just do what I think is good for me right now. 


 

Well I went to water walking yesterday and it felt so good. I just love the water and love to swim. My goal is to learn how to lap swim as soon as I can lose a few more lbs. and where I want give out of air when going across the pool with each lap. It will come, getting ahead of myself, but when you take a step to change things about you, you really don’t want to wait, you’ve made up your mind, you want to be healthy and learn to lap swim, lift weights, run a 3 miles marathon and you just want to do it now.



When I got in the pool last week it brought back memories of about 8 years ago when I was working on losing weight, I was going to get a gastric by-pass surgery and the psychologist did not want me to have it and suggested that I go and get treatment because she thought I was depressed and needed counseling. So I went to counseling and guess what both of them recommended, that I do not have the gastric by-pass because of my eating disorder, so I didn’t but during this time I had started losing weight and going to the pool to water walk. It felt so good, but I then had to have both knees replaced and so my ego was hurt because that really made me feel old. So after the surgery I just started setting and doing nothing, maybe a few crafts here and there, it will to be a hard road to get back to where I want to be.


So if you’re trying to lose weight and want to join me, come on along. We can talk, exchange ideas, and vent some of the frustrations that go along with losing weight but most of all, we can encourage each other from afar. Think about and let me know.



Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Monday, July 18, 2011

TODAY IS WEIGH DAY?????????






I lost 11 lbs., whew, I lost some weight, think I will do a happy dance here because  I’m  so glad that I started this weight loss plan, I’m going to feel so much better.  Its a little weight lost compared to what I have to lose but guess what it is a start and that is what counts.  It takes time to readjust our selves to new ways.  You know one time I was told that it took 21 days to form a new habit so 7 down 14 to go and maybe I will have this new habit form of not stuffing my face so much.    In every thing we do, we are told it takes time and some times it is so frustrating, but remember what I told you self wants immediate gratification for what we are doing.  It takes time.  The reason I’m saying this over and over, is I’m trying to convince myself and reason with self, to be patient.  Little steps at a time and then they will turn into a big step.  So stay tune and see what happens this week.  Each day will get better and your body will get the message of what you’re trying to do to it.  Right now it’s rebelling against you because it wants more food and wants you to just sit back in that old rocking chair.  Don’t give in, let’s keep going down this road together .  Sure hope everyone has a nice day.  another heat way is heading this way. so try to stay cool this week.  Talk at you later.





Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Saturday, July 16, 2011

A WAKE UP MOMENT


I received this today and could not help myself; I had to post this and the thoughts that came with it.



Jesus Christ said; "Love your enemies, do good
to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
(Luke 6:27-28 *NIV)

Dear Pat,
as you know it is written; 'Love your neighbor as
yourself.' (Matthew 19:19 & Leviticus: 18.)
So today I would like to share with you a message that was
sent to me by one of our subscriber's. May it minister to you
as it has to me? It is titled.....

The Dart Test...

A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in
a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr Smith. She says
that Dr Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons.
Now one particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and
knew they were in for a fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many
darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of some-
one that they disliked, or someone who had made them angry,
and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend.
Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a
picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her
drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was very
pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the
students threw their darts with such force that their targets were
ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled
with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits,
asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking
about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to
throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the
target from the wall.

Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. Needless to
say a hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled
picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and
His eyes were pierced.

It was then that Dr. Smith said only these words... 'Assuredly,
I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the
least of these my brethren, you did it to Me.'
(Matthew 25:40.) No other words were necessary; as tears
filled eyes of the students, as they focused only on the mangled
picture of Jesus Christ.
( Author Unknown )

____________________________

Here are a few thoughts that came to me……That picture could be the self that is ruling our thoughts about wanting to change our eating, alcohol, drug or whatever habit that you might have that is keeping you tied up in self. When we take the picture of self away, we see Jesus here too, He loves us and wants the very best for us. Yes, we have tribulations and disasters in our lives but they are not from God, they may be allowed by God, because He is trying to bring us to a place to serve Him and glorify Him. I know people say if He loved us so much why doesn’t He make everything perfect, because it wouldn’t help us, we wouldn’t love Him any more because we would just feed self again. Because we want what we want for gratification of self. Just a few thoughts to ponder on, I know I’m pondering on them because I had not thought of self and Jesus being there taking my darts that I throw at myself over eating and many other bad habits. Just remember these are my thoughts that I’m sharing with you in hopes that it might help us as we take steps together on this journey of losing weight and getting healthy. Hope everyone has a great weekend.




Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Friday, July 15, 2011

ARE WE BORED YET?


Well, guess what I’ve made it through the week, some great things happened this week. I kept my calories down to 1600 to 2000 each day, I started a water walking class, which I’ve been once and guess what it felt so good to be back moving again, (yes I did hurt some but I did it), plus I’ve done a lot of talking here about feelings, who I am, and much more. I will know on Monday if it all paid off but if it doesn’t its okay, I feel better, I’m doing something. It will come, it takes time. Hey I didn’t put all this weight on in a week; it’s been many years of stuffing my face and sitting in my rocking chair, and just not caring about myself. I’m one of these people that likes instant gratification, what do you mean I can’t loose this 100 lbs. in a week or two, your crazy, I’m supper woman. Yea, that is what we tell ourselves so many times, when we go on fad diets and what happens we stay on them for about two weeks and quit. (Been There)



I’ve watched my son-in-law do this weight thing now for 6 months and some weeks he would only loose ½ lb, but he didn’t quit, he walked more miles or cut back on calories. So lets get it in our heads, sometimes it’s a slow process. Our mind needs to start working on body areas (brain, metabolism, muscles that have not done much) so we need time since we have not worked on them in a while. Our body is use to being stuffed to the gills and just sitting on our cans feeling that great gratification that we get when we have stuffed ourselves. One of my psychologist said our bodies really does not like change, so sometimes we have to wait for it to catch up with our brain as to what we are wanting it to do. Remember what I told you our “self” wants to do what it wants to do, not diet, so we have to be persistent on teaching our bodies that we want to go another direction not what we have been doing in the past. It is kind of like retraining ourselves and we do it in our minds, body, and really deep within our soul to make these changes. As we move a little more each day to our goals, our self and our body starts to like what we are doing to it, it will rebel but just try to keep on trucking and in the end it will pay off

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Thursday, July 14, 2011

HOW TOUGH AM I



Well you know when I was younger, I felt like I could just take on anything. As I wanted to proof, I could do and be anything I wanted. But as the bums started coming and whatever held me to the past started bubbling up, I found it harder and harder to believe those words. You know you feel like you keep getting beaten down. Coming from a dysfunctional abusive home does not give you the best outlook on life when the arrows start coming at you. You seem to fight the battle over and over again. Sometimes it makes us focus on ourselves so much because you are digging out of that mentality of abuse, pain, wants, unhappiness and we can’t seem to focus on ourselves a whole lot.


So yesterday, I said we would talk about IDOLS. What is an idol?

Dictionary meaning: An image of a god used as an object of worship; especially, in the Bible,etc., a false god. Any person or thing that is greatly loved.

In Biblical terms it is something other than God that we set our heart on: Luke 12:29; 1 Cor. 10;19, that motivates us (1 Cor.4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps 119:133; Eps. 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve ( Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24, Luke 12: 405….

An idol can also be referred to as a “false god” or a “function god”.

Now, I know I have scarred you because I’ve brought the bible into it. But you know, sometimes we need to bring the bible into our lives and thinking, so it can help us figure these things out. I’m not preaching at anyone, just trying to get some points across that maybe our problem we have with eating, hoarding, and spending are the many idols in our lives and it can cause lots of problems. Let me share with you. Because of my abusive family life as a child, I put my priorities on things that were the most important and that I did not have as a child. I never heard my mom say I love you growing up, but I finally did years later when I had to help take care of her when she was in a nursing home. Lost track again, well because I didn’t hear those words, when my children were born and in raising them I said I love you all the time to them and I also told my husband all the time and still do to this day. So sometimes we have to look at what motivates us to do some of the things we do. What’s your motivation. I’m still working on looking for all of mine. We will probably find that we have very many. We are a selfish people and we want what we want, and sometimes that hard to admit to ourselves and especially to others. But let me give you a little hint here, sometimes our idols is self. Ponder on that and see what you think. I know I have been pondering and it’s hard to admit that myself is my idol, I don’t want to diet, I don’t want to exercise, I don’t want to watch every little thing I eat. I want to feed my ego so I can just enjoy myself. Hope to see you again soon. Keep digging down in there and see what you come up with. Life is good and I want to live it more than just sat in my rocking chair and watch television holding my doggy. Will talk to you soon.



Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hope Your Still With Me on This Journey

 

Good Morning in Blog land, sure hope everyone has a good day today. Just wanted to talk a little about dieting, food and of course weight. I sure hope I’m not boring you, but I think this is a little like therapy, talking about this weight stuff. I know it’s out there for the whole world to see, but maybe that’s good. I know God is listening to me too. So maybe it’s good for the whole world to engage in this problem too. Many people are having problems with weight and how to loose, what causes them to stop trying. So maybe this is a good way to get more people involved.


We are having a bible study on idols, and the very first lesson I guessed eating could be classified as my idol or could just food. Well, I think it could, because I find so much comfort in food for all that ells me. If I’m sad, I start thinking about finding some food to fill that emptiness and to make me happy, this also could be buying stuff too, which I have also have had this problem too, but that’s another whole story. Let’s keep on the weight track right now. When I’m happy, oh boy lets go out and eat or have someone over to celebrate my happiness. Ugh. Then of course, when I’m depressed got to stuff my face to make me happy again. Well, is it an idol, or just a misconception of food and who I am? Lots to think about today! How do you react to your moods, I have a little thing I will share with you. It might help you. It has helped me sometimes but I still fight the battle.

The word is Halt:

H – Hungry

A – Angry

L – Lonely (having losses, sad, depression)

T – Tired.

That means halt before you take that first bite and see what you’re feeling. Hope this helps a little. Some more thoughts on idols tomorrow. What do you think an idol is?



Till we meet again.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Somethings to Ponder about our Weight



Well day 2, not much to show for, but I’m still going through with it. So, lets talk about why we eat so much or why I eat so much. I have had some bad things happen to me when I was a child and a few along the way in this life. I have been to numerous psychologist for help and they have helped me but I still can’t get to the core of why I eat, unless I’ve let food become my comfort for whatever ails me. Sometimes food can become everything to a person, when children leave home, when we don’t work or we work and don’t want too, or even if we like our job. Sometimes it’s hard to figure what causes us to cross over to were our food dictates to us instead of us dictating to it. We should eat to fill our stomachs not try to fill our soul or stuff down the unhappy moments in life. Well I’m going to ponder on these thoughts today and see if I can find answers to some of these I’ve mentioned.


I hope baring my soul does not upset people, but I’ve tried a whole lot of diets, weight watchers, almost had a gastric bypass, but guess what my psychologist said he didn’t think that would be a good thing for me because I had a eating disorder, well can you imagine how I felt when he said that, everyone has to eat, why should this be bad and be a disorder. Well, I understood what he meant but sometimes these words hit like a bomb shell and I didn’t like it. Then the next words I heard, you are considered in the obesity category. Well that was the first time I was told that and that really upset me to think, here I was at late 50’s and now they considered me that bad word. Even though I know, no one likes to here it. Well things have gone on long enough and I really want to try to loose some weight for my heath, for myself, and not for anyone else.

So here are a few thoughts to ponder on today. Come share with me, if you are going though this same struggle of trying to lose weight and put your life back together so we can enjoy the rest of our lives with family and friends. Well till we meet again, remember we are what we eat. Have a great day.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com

Monday, July 11, 2011

Today IS THE DAY

I feel like I'm opening myself to something that might be good or bad, I  hope it will be good for me in the long run.  A little history here, I have been overweight for a very long, long time. and guess what I feel horrible.  My daughters worry about me often because I'm overweight but that's not all they worry because at my weight I do not feel like doing anything and I mean anything.  My daughter in Florida and her husband have been just counting calories and they have lost weight 27 for daughter and my son-in-law has lost 41 lbs.  I'm so proud of them and they did just by counting what they ate.  I tried but failed back when they started in Febuary. 

My daughter sent me this articile from a blog. http://caloriecount.about.com/beginning-my-new-life-b514732?utm_source=notification&utm_medium=email&utm_term=share_blog_view&utm_campaign=share_blog And guess what it motivated me to take action, so I went and joined a low exercise water class and I started today counting those calories.  I'm posting this to see if I can inspire anyone else who would like to join me  on this journey/   I'm using calorie counter here http://caloriecount.about.com/ .  So if your interested let me know and we can share our stories and support one another in this endeavor.  Also I'm posting a picture of me at my highest and letting it all hang out.  Hope everyone is having a great day. 





Saturday, July 2, 2011

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

I received this today from God's Minute and I wanted to share this with everyone.  If we all could just learn this, that God created all of us and Jesus died for all.  Turn your eyes to Jesus when we see someone we dislike or even hate just remember Jesus loves that person as much as He loves you.  God is good all the time, and if we could just remember that, all of mankind would be so much better.   Jesus Christ said; "Love your enemies, do good

Jesus Christ said; "Love your enemies, do good

to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
( Luke 6:27-28 *NIV )

Dear Friend,
As you know it is written; 'Love your neighbor as
yourself.' ( Matthew 19:19 & Leviticus:18.)

So today I would like to share with you a message that was
sent to me by one of our subscriber's. May it minister to you
as it has to me. It is titled.....



The Dart Test...

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in
a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr Smith. She says
that Dr Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons.
Now one particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and
knew they were in for a fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many
darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of some-
one that they disliked, or someone who had made them angry,
and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend.
Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a
picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her
drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was very
pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the
students threw their darts with such force that their targets were
ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled
with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits,
asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking
about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to
throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the
target from the wall.

Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. Needless to
say a hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled
picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and
His eyes were pierced.

It was then that Dr. Smith said only these words... 'Assuredly,
I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the
least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
( Matthew 25:40. )

No other words were necessary; as tears
filled eyes of the students, as they focused only on the mangled
picture of Jesus Christ.

Just Pat